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We're getting married, Now what?
The following guide can help you decide what type of Wedding Ceremony is best
for you, the questions and answers to some of the most common questions are also
given. This is meant to be a guide only and should be considered as such,
your Minister or Local Registrar will have full information about what type of
ceremony you decide to have.
- Church Wedding
- Catholic Ceremony
- Protestant Ceremony
- Church of Scotland Wedding
- Church of England Wedding
- Civil Ceremony
Common Considerations
- Legal Requirements in the UK
- Order of Service Sheets
Where do people sit?
Traditionally the brides family and friends sit or the left of the church.
The grooms family and friends sit on the right.
Those of greatest importance such as immediate family sit on the first pew.
When does the
Ceremony begin?
The sign for the ceremony to begin is when the brides mother takes her seat.
When the processional music begins the groom and best man stand up and take
their positions.
The entrance music for the bride is played when the bride and her father are
ready. This is also an indication for the guests to stand up.
The bride walks down the aisle hold her fathers right arm. They are followed by
the chief bridesmaid and the other attendants.
It's only now that the groom may look at his bride and she in turn can give her
bouquet to her chief bridesmaid. Who places it on a seat where it can be
retrieved when the party signs the register at the end.
The chief bridesmaid lifts the brides veil for her.
Whether or not a hymn is sung between the processional music and the ceremony
itself depends on what you have decided with the minister.
The Ceremony
- A typical ceremony will be as shown below.
There will be some minor variations depending on where you are getting
married and what arrangements you have made with the minister.
The minister explains the significance of marriage, indicates the names of
the bride and groom. Welcomes the guests and asks them to participate in the
ceremony by their presence.
Minister asks: Who gives this woman
to be married to this man?".
The brides father takes the brides right hand and gives it to the Minster
silently, who then passes it to the groom. The brides father then returns to his
seat.
Minister Asks: "if there is anyone here that knows of any reason why this
couple cannot be lawfully married".
Minister then Asks: The bride and groom in turn "whether they promise to
love, comfort, honour and protect the other forsaking all others as long as they
shall both live"
They reply "I Will", "I Do" in turn
Minister Asks: the groom to take the brides right hand in his and they
exchange vows
Best man may pass the ring to the groom or it may be passed to the minister on
the face of a prayer book and then to the groom.
The groom places the ring on the brides third finger on her left hand while
saying his vows.
The groom Promises to love, honour and share everything in sickness and health
until death .
The bride does the same.
The minister then announces them as man and wife.
The groom now may kiss his new wife.
The ceremony ends with the signing of the register in the vestry.
The marriage certificate is given to the couple.
The bride takes her bouquet from the chief bridesmaid and the couple leave the
church.
How do we leave the
church?
Bride and Groom, any young attendants.
Chief Bridesmaid and Best man
Brides mother and Grooms father
Grooms mother and Brides father
Any other attendants.
Church bell are rang if you have chosen to have them and this ends the wedding
service
This might be a simple ceremony incorporating the traditional Catholic
elements and scriptural readings or it may be a Nuptial Mass Service, this
combines the Wedding into a regular Sabbath church service. The Nuptial
Mass is divided into four parts:
Gathering and
Entrance Rite
This begins with a procession of the priest, the wedding attendants, and the
bride and groom.
The groom enters first, through a side entrance, and awaits the bride near the
approach to the altar.
The priest greets the community and invokes God's blessings upon the couple,
those gathered and the event.
A communal prayer for forgiveness and mercy, followed by a prayer or song called
the Gloria.
The Liturgy of the Word
This is a series of readings from the Bible. The readings are most commonly
done by family members who have been selected by the couple.
The first reading is from the Hebrew Bible or Old Testament.
The second reading is a Psalm, in word or in song.
The third reading is from the New Testament.
Then follows singing of the Alleluia prayer or Gospel Acclamation.
there is a reading from one of the four Gospels.
Christians who are able to are expected to stand for the reading of the Gospel.
This part of the service concludes with the priest giving a short homily or
speech on marriage and the union of the bride and groom.
The Marriage Rite
This is typically the longest portion of the ceremony. It begins with the
exchanging of vows and of rings.
The Mass continues with prayers for the newlyweds, for the community, and for
others who may be mentioned by name.
This is followed by the Eucharist or Communion service.
The bread and wine is blessed and the congregation joins together in praying the
Lord's Prayer.
Those gathered then turn to one another to exchange a sign of peace a handshake
or a hug.
The bread and wine is distributed and communion is received.
Concluding Rite
The final segment of the service includes a blessing of the community and the
new couple.
A dismissal, and a final recessional from the church.
Guests are free to exit once the couple, the wedding party, and the priest have
recessed.
Each denomination may have its own standard ceremony, a church will usually
include the common order of the wedding service in its service. The church
minister will answer any questions you may have about how the service will be
conducted. A typical Protestant ceremony is described below.
The Introductory Prayer
The minister faces the couple and the congregation, the bride on his/her
right and the groom on the left, and addresses all gathered.
Minister Dearly beloved, we
have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining
together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of
marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned
this manner of life by His presence and first miracle at the wedding in Cana of
Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and His
Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people. The union
of husband and wife is intended by God for their mutual joy, for the help and
comfort given each other in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is Gods will,
for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of
the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly,
but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it
was instituted by God.
The Interrogation
Minister Into this union
(brides name) and (grooms name) now come to be joined. If any of you can show
just cause why they may not be lawfully wed, speak now, or else forever hold
your peace.
Minister (to the Bride and Groom) I charge you both, here in the
presence of God and the witness of this company, that if either of you know any
reason why you may not be married lawfully and in accordance with Gods Word, do
now confess it.
Minister (to the Bride) (Brides name), will you have this man to
be your husband; to live together with him in the covenant of marriage? Will you
love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and
forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
Bride answers I will.
Minister (to the Groom) (Grooms name), will you have this woman
to be your wife; to live together with her in the covenant of marriage? Will you
love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and
forsaking all others, be faithful unto her as long as you both shall live?
Groom answers I will.
Minister (to the guests) Will all of you witnessing these
promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage?
Guests respond We will.
The Presentation
Minister Who gives this
woman to be married to this man?
Brides father answers She gives herself, with the blessing of her
mother and father.
The groom faces the bride and takes her
right hand in his, then says: In the name of God, I, (grooms name), take
you, (brides name), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to
love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.
The bride then takes his right hand in hers, then says: In the name of
God, I, (brides name), take you, (grooms name), to be my husband, to have and to
hold form this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in
sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow. They drop hands. The minister then asks Gods blessing
on the rings, Bless, O' Lord, these rings as a symbol of the vows by which this
man and this woman have bound themselves to each other; through Jesus Christ our
Lord. All. Amen.
Groom places the ring on the left ring-finger of the brides hand, saying:
I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I am, and all
that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the
Holy Spirit.
Bride places the ring on the left ring-finger of the grooms hand, saying:
I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I am, and all
that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the
Holy Spirit.
Minister joins the bride's right hand and the grooms right hand, saying:
Now that (brides name) and (grooms name) have given themselves to each other
by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings,
I pronounce that they are husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and the
Son, and the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one put
asunder. All: Amen.
Minister asks the guests to stand, saying: Let us stand and pray
together the words our Savior taught us. All stand and recite the Lords Prayer:
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come, thy
will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and
forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead
us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, and
the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. The minister then directs the
congregation to sit, the couple to kneel, and the service continues with prayers
or song.
The minister blesses the kneeling couple, saying: God the Father, God
the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve and keep you; the Lord mercifully
with his favor look upon you, and fill you with all spiritual benediction and
grace; that you may faithfully live together in this life, and in the age to
come have life everlasting. Amen.
Minister (to guests): The peace of the Lord be with you always.
The bride and groom stand and face each other. The minister: (Brides
name) and (grooms name), having witnessed your vows of love to one another, it
is my joy to present you to all gathered here as husband and wife. (To the
groom.) You may kiss the bride.
The couple kisses and exits
The Church of Scotland has its own requirements for you to get married.
It incorporates these into a typical church service. These requirements
are described below. More details can be found on the
Church of
Scotland website.
Requirements
- You need to get two marriage notice forms from the register office for
the district that you intend to get married in.
- The forms have to be returned with the appropriate documentation.
- One of you then has to visit the register office to collect the marriage
schedule. You can only collect the schedule seven days before the wedding.
- Civil services have to be performed in a register office.
- Religious ceremonies can take place anywhere you like long as the
minister agrees to it. The only prerequisite is that the venue has an actual
address that can be put on the marriage certificate
- The marriage can only be performed by a person entitled to do so under
the Marriage (Scotland) Act 1977.
- You have to have two witnesses which ever type of wedding you choose and
the they must be over 16 years of age.
The Church of England has its own requirements for you to get married.
It incorporates these into a typical church service. These requirements
are described below. There are four ways you can get married in the Church
of England, which are listed below.
Requirements
Generally you both have to be members of the Church of England and at least
one of you lives in the parish of the church where the marriage is to take
place.
The minimum notice is one week although this varies.
Banns are the sole legal necessity for Church of England weddings since the
minister acts both as registrar of state (on behalf of the civil law) and as a
priest of the church
Once you have decided which version of the marriage you want an rehearsal will
be organised by the minister.
Publication of Banns
Visit the minister of the church where you wish to get married and ask him if
you can be married in the church.
The minister will then go through the ceremony several times with the both of
you so that you fully understand the implications of your commitment to
marriage.
The minister will then publish the banns.
The banns are published by being read aloud in church on three successive
Sundays preceding the ceremony at the main service.
You are expected to attend the church on at least one of the three occasions
when the banns are read.
When you both don't live in the same parish, the banns must be read in both
parishes.
A certificate confirming this must be obtained from the minister whose church is
not being used for the ceremony to give to the officiating minister.
Once the banns have been published, the wedding can take place on any day within
the next 3 months.
If any delay, the banns have to be read again.
Common or Ordinary
License
This is quicker because you do not need banns and you only need one clear
day's notice before the license can be issued.
You can obtain a license from the Faculty Office or from the Bishop's Register
Office if you live in a cathedral town or from one of the surrogates for
granting license, this may be your minister. Your minister will be able to tell
you where to get a license from.
To obtain a license one of you must go in person. You will have to sign a
declaration that there is no legal reason why the marriage cannot properly take
place and that one of you have lived for at least 15 days prior to the
application in the parish of the church where you want to get married.
Superintendent Registrar's License
This license is only issued by the Archbishop of Canterbury and can only be
used when there is a special reason why the normal methods are unsuitable.
This license allows the marriage to take place, without residence restrictions,
within three months of the date issued.
Superintendent Registrar's Certificate
The church where the marriage is to take place must be situated within the
registration district of the Superintendent Registrar and one of you must have
lived in the parish for seven days prior to giving notice.
The certificate will not be issued until 21 days after notice is entered in the
notice book and the ceremony may then take place within three months from the
day on which the notice was entered.
The marriage may be solemnized only by the minister of the Church of England and
with the consent of the minister whose church is being used for the ceremony.
Registry Office weddings are ideal for those who either do not wish to or
cannot have a religious ceremony. This type of ceremony is shorter,
simpler and cheaper than a traditional church service and can be as formal or
informal as you wish. The ceremony does not include any religious parts, all the
couple do is exchange vows.
Things to Consider
- Register offices cannot accommodate large numbers, so generally couples
only have their close family and friends at the service. The other guests
can be invited to the reception
- The bride is not required to wear a traditional wedding dress, she can
wear anything she likes.
- You will not have to have a wedding party, all you need is 2 witnesses
over 18 years of age.
- You will need to decide whether you want to be married by license or
certificate.
Marriage by Certificate
The official will fill in a form giving the bride and groom's names and
addressees, ages and location of the ceremony. If you both live in the
area controlled by one registrar for seven days before giving notice only one of
you need to appear to make the declaration. If you live in different
registration districts, you must each make the declaration before the registrar
responsible for the district in which you live. The Superintendent
Registrar will make the entry in the notice book and issue the certificate 21
days later. The ceremony can then take place at any time within three
months of the entry in the notice book. Give notice to the superintendent
registrar where you plan to marry up to 3 months before the wedding or more
depending on the popularity of the venue. You need to give notice to your
own local authority at least 21 days before the event. If you one of you
lives in a separate area you will have to give notice in both.
Marriage by License
Give notice to the superintendent registrar where you plan to marry up to 3
months before the wedding or more depending on the popularity of the venue.
This license permits the marriage to be solemnized in any place and at any time
within three months from the date of entry in the notice book. There is no
residence qualification and the license can be issued immediately. Notice
must be given in person by one of you to the local Superintendent Registrar.
Marrying by license allows you to tie the knot within 21 days and only one of
you need give notice, but you pay more for this flexibility.
Cost
Cost of giving notice in advance of a ceremony either at a register office,
or Approved Premises or in a religious building other than in the Church of
England or Church in Wales: £30.00 per person
Cost of register office ceremony: £34.00
Cost of a ceremony on Approved Premises - The cost for attendance by the
superintendent registrar and registrar is set by the local authority in
question. A further charge is likely to be made by the owners of the building
for the use of the premises.
Cost of religious ceremony at a building other than Church of England or
Church in Wales - Unless the building has an Authorised Person, there will be a
£40.00 fee for the Registrar and there may be further fees charged by the
trustees of the building and the person who performs the ceremony.
Cost of marriage certificate: £3.50
The above costs are correct as at May 2004, check for
current prices at the General
Register Office website
To be legally married in the UK there are a number of requirements which have
to be met. Your Minister or Local Registrar can give you more information.
- You and your finance must be at least 16 years old (in England and Wales
if either party is under 18 written consent by parents or legal guardian
must be obtained.
- You must hand all relevant certificates or licenses to the minister or
registrar before the ceremony.
- If one of you is divorced then the marriage cannot take place until you
have received the "decree absolute".
- You must not be closely related, although certain relatives can marry
under Marriage Act of 1986.
- The marriage must take place where it can be legally soleminised. These
include registry offices, premises that have been given a civil license by
the local authority, parish churches that have registered with the registrar
general for worship and marriage.
- The marriage must take place in the presence of a superintendent
registrar, a registrar or an authorized person.
- The marriage must take place between 8am and 6pm
- Two witnesses must be present to witness the marriage ceremony
- You both must be free and eligible to be married.
- Weddings cannot be private, so the doors must not be locked while the
ceremony is in progress.
- The couple must be male and female by birth
Order of Service Sheets
The Order of Service Sheets allow guests to follow the ceremony.
Reminders:
- Get a proof reading
from the minister.
- Order enough for
every guest and extras for you and parents to keep as a keep sake. The
Minister, choir, organist and anyone else taking part in the ceremony may
require one too. Your minister will advise.
- The order must follow
the order of the service, if guests have to go to different sections, it may
cause confusion. Guests will be expected to sing hymns, they will need to
know which one.
Included in Order
of Service:
- Name of the bride and
groom, the minister, the location, the date and time of the ceremony.
- What music is played,
the title of the song and the composer.
- Any special poems or
passages that may be read are printed so people can follow them.
- Hymns are printed in
full, not everyone will know the words.
- Prayers are printed
in full.
- Any words or places
where the guests are suppose to respond are also printed.
Typical Layout:
- Introductory Medley.
- Entrance of the
Bride.
- Hymn
- The Marriage
- Prayers
- Hymn or Blessing
- Signing of the
Register
- Recessional
All information given on this page is meant to guide only
and should not be considered legal or binding. You should always check
with the Authority concerned about current legal requirements and costs.
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